Are you being abused?

Dating violence is a pattern of abusive behavior.  This behavior can be physical, sexual, emotional, verbal or psychological or can be done in any combination.  

Verbal/Emotional/Psychological Abuse: Anything your abuser says or does to you that causes you to be afraid, lowers your self esteem, or is done to manipulate or control your feelings or behavior.

l  Name-calling and put-downs                   l  Making you feel responsible

l  Yelling and screaming                          for the violence

l  Purposely embarrasses you            l  Threatens to commit          

      in private or in front of others                  suicide or hurt themselves

l  Cheats on you                               l  Keeping you from seeing or    

l  Stalking-tracks all your time                         talking with friends/family       

l  Threatening to hurt you or           l  Spreads rumors about you 

      your friends and family                l  Telling you what to do

l  Makes all the decisions                l  Ignoring your feelings

l  Driving recklessly                           l  Accuses you of cheating

l  Breaks promises they made           l  Manipulates you with lies
l  Criticizes your beliefs or values    l  Breaks your stuff

Physical Abuse: Any type of unwanted physical contact with you by your abuser.

l  Scratching       l  Throwing Objects      l  Pushing

l  Punching                   l  Pulling Hair                l  Slapping

l  Biting               l  Choking/Strangling    l  Shoving

l  Kicking             l  Using a weapon                   l  Restraining

l  Grabbing          l  Abandons you in a dangerous place

Sexual Abuse: This may mean forced, unwanted contact or being afraid to say no or unable to say no. 

l  Rape                                              l  Unwanted rough or violent         

l  Unwanted kissing or touching                     sexual activity

l  Forcing you to go further              l  Not letting you use birth

     then you want (even if you                control or protection 

     have had sex before)                          against STIs

l  Accusing you of sexual                 l  Calls you sexual names

     activity with others                      l  Makes comments about

l  Insists you dress in a more                  your body

     sexual way than you want to        l  Insists you dress in a less                                                                             sexual way than you want to

Break the Cycle. 07MAR2008. Break the Cycle. 12 Mar 2008 <http://www.breakthecycle.org/>.

Adapted from: Getting Free: A Handbook for Women in Abusive Relationships