Thursday, January 26, 2012


Are you being abused?

Dating violence is a pattern of abusive behavior.  This behavior can be physical, sexual, emotional, verbal or psychological or can be done in any combination.  

Verbal/Emotional/Psychological Abuse: Anything your abuser says or does to you that causes you to be afraid, lowers your self esteem, or is done to manipulate or control your feelings or behavior.

l  Name-calling and put-downs                   l  Making you feel responsible
l  Yelling and screaming                          for the violence
l  Purposely embarrasses you            l  Threatens to commit          
      in private or in front of others                  suicide or hurt themselves
l  Cheats on you                               l  Keeping you from seeing or    
l  Stalking-tracks all your time                         talking with friends/family       
l  Threatening to hurt you or           l  Spreads rumors about you 
      your friends and family                l  Telling you what to do
l  Makes all the decisions                l  Ignoring your feelings
l  Driving recklessly                           l  Accuses you of cheating
l  Breaks promises they made           l  Manipulates you with lies
l  Criticizes your beliefs or values    l  Breaks your stuff

Physical Abuse: Any type of unwanted physical contact with you by your abuser.

l  Scratching       l  Throwing Objects      l  Pushing
l  Punching                   l  Pulling Hair                l  Slapping
l  Biting               l  Choking/Strangling    l  Shoving
l  Kicking             l  Using a weapon                   l  Restraining
l  Grabbing          l  Abandons you in a dangerous place

Sexual Abuse: This may mean forced, unwanted contact or being afraid to say no or unable to say no. 

l  Rape                                              l  Unwanted rough or violent         
l  Unwanted kissing or touching                     sexual activity
l  Forcing you to go further              l  Not letting you use birth
     then you want (even if you                control or protection 
     have had sex before)                          against STIs
l  Accusing you of sexual                 l  Calls you sexual names
     activity with others                      l  Makes comments about
l  Insists you dress in a more                  your body
     sexual way than you want to        l  Insists you dress in a less                                                                             sexual way than you want to
Break the Cycle. 07MAR2008. Break the Cycle. 12 Mar 2008 <http://www.breakthecycle.org/>.
Adapted from: Getting Free: A Handbook for Women in Abusive Relationships             

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Internet Safety



What can you do to stay safe online?  Some of these tips may sound basic but they may be the most important:

ü  Don’t do or say anything online you wouldn’t in person. 

ü  Post only things you are okay with people seeing or knowing.

ü  Remember it isn’t just about you.  When you post information or pictures with friends or family members remember, you are also putting them at risk.

ü  Use the privacy options to keep your page as private as possible. 

ü  If you are in an abusive relationship or are leaving one it is best to avoid using technology to have contact with your abusive partner as they may use it against you later. 

ü  Don’t respond to harassing, abusive or inappropriate comments. It may put you in further danger or get you in trouble.

ü  Save or keep a record of all of the communications between you and the person who is abusive.  You may need this paperwork in the future.  Keep it in a safe place. 

ü  Avoid giving out your passwords to anyone (except a parent or guardian).  Choose passwords that aren’t easy to guess and change them often. 

ü  Unfortunately if the abuse doesn’t stop, you may be forced to change your usernames and email addresses. 

ü  You can also report harassing or inappropriate behavior to the site administrators. 

ü  Remember-TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!  If you feel like something isn’t right or feel threatened, tell someone who can help. 

"Safe Online Relationships." The Safe Space. Break the Cycle. 26 Feb 2008 <http: //www.thesafespace.org/pdf/handout-safe-online-relationships.pdf.>

Friday, January 6, 2012

Teen Love Is Not Abuse: Healthy Relationships

Teen Love Is Not Abuse: Healthy Relationships: So what is a healthy relationship? The following is a list of characteristics that can be found healthy relationships Mutual Respect: T...

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Healthy Relationships

So what is a healthy relationship? 

The following is a list of characteristics that can be found healthy relationships

Mutual Respect: This means each person understands the other person’s boundaries and values as they are.
Trust: Being able to give each other the benefit of the doubt. 
Honesty: Having the ability to be honest with your partner is important. 
Compromise: This means giving and taking.  Compromising means accepting and respecting the other person’s opinion. 
Individuality: This means being able to be who you are even when you are in a relationship with someone else.
Good Communication: Being able to express how you are feeling openly and honestly without fear of being hurt. 
Problem Solving: Exercising problem solving requires both people in the relationship to identify what the problems are and to be able to work together to resolve those problems. 
Fighting Fair: Even couples in healthy relationships fight.  Some of things to keep in mind when “fighting fair” are to avoid insulting one another and focus on the issue at hand.  Remember you don’t want to say something you might regret later. 
Understanding: Sometimes in order to understand what someone else is feeling you have to put yourself in their shoes.  You might change how you communicate with people.
Self-Confidence:  This can show people that you can be calm and comfortable when encouraging them to express their own opinions and not fear how you will respond.  By having self confidence you are able to exhibit good communication skills clearly. 
Being a Role Model: Show others what a healthy relationship is, your friends may then start to model after you.  One of the most important things to model is respect; you have to give it to get it! 
"What's a Healthy Relationship." Choose Respect. Apr2008. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and Department of Health and Human Services. 07Mar 2008 <www.chooserespect.org>.